A parable, by Atheist Republic contributor, Abbas Syed

Four men are having tea in The Great Afterlife Café; one is a Muslim, one is a Christian, one is a Jew, and one is an atheist. The great Archangel Gabriel flies into the café and tells them, “God has been expecting you, please come along.” The theists give the atheist a smug look as they all fly off together, mocking him relentlessly, telling him that he will not be getting any virgins, or delicious food, refreshing drinks, or even fresh air. Gabriel, with a sudden flick of his golden stick, orders all four men to stop and bow in preparation for God’s appearance.

The three believers waste no time and get their foreheads to touch the surface of the great white cloud. Their eyes filled with tears, their hearts carried away with the sentiments for their Abrahamic God. “Yes, we were right! We were right!” they congratulate themselves. They feel something humungous rising up in front of them as the atheist, seeing what’s coming, begins laughing. Suddenly, the entire cloud shakes so dramatically, it causes the believers to look up from their bow. Their joy and excitement suddenly fade as they discover that it was God’s hammer causing the cloud-quake, and behold, Thor is the one, the almighty God!

Thor orders all the three believers to be thrown face-first into Hades because they believed in stories, and asks his personal assistant, Forseti, what should be done with the atheist. "Well," suggests Forseti, "I know that he did not believe in you, but at least he did not commit the sin of making up his own gods. Nevertheless, now that he has seen you and your power, he has become a true believer!"

And so, the atheist waves his hand to the believers who are undergoing the first stages of their torture as he enters paradise.

Time and again, the religious lobby argues the “uncertainty argument,” emphasizing that they are safe whether a god exists or not and that if atheists are wrong about god, they’ll be sent to hell. But clearly, they’re only safe if there is a god and it happens to be the one god they follow. The whole religious lobby is nothing more than a house divided against itself.

Have you ever felt worried about not believing in a god? How have you responded to this "better safe than sorry" assertion? Reply to this email with your thoughts/story and we might share it on the website. Let us know if you wish to remain anonymous.

All gods are imaginary t-shirt

All gods are imaginary t-shirt

Zeus, Mars, Thor, Jesus… "I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen F Roberts

We are all atheists t-shirt

We are all atheists t-shirt

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." ~ Richard Dawkins

We are all atheists about most gods bumper sticker

We are all atheists about most gods bumper sticker

"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed in. Some of us just go one god further." ~ Richard Dawkins

god is imaginary bumper sticker

god is imaginary bumper sticker

God is like an imaginary number! An imaginary number has a negative or zero square.

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Human stories about God are so funny, because they are so human. There will be no momentary pride in thinking one is correct. Only fear and trembling as we stand before absolute righteousness, knowing that we are guilty. Ironically, pride (such as that exhibited by the three over the atheist) is the sin most condemned in the Bible. It is when a sinful human exalts himself over another one of God’s children. The only hope that we have is forgiveness. Not correctness.

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Agreed, as in the example you go on to recount.

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It is certainly a matter of opinion and only time will tell. From my perspective, though, I see a narrative that very much unlike every other God story generated by a human.

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Consider that your perspective may be biased by the fact that it’s the narrative you think is true. What you have is just another God story generated by a human, from my perspective.

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Thanks John. Your suggestion is noted. In this case, though, you have the story backwards. I was not at all convinced that the narrative was true. Rather, I was convinced that it was false. But, certainly, what you say is worthy of consideration. Everyone who ascribes to a religion, ideology or philosophy should stop and consider whether or not they are biased. Especially that one aspect of their belief system may be influencing the belief over another.

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I refer to your narrative:

I’m pretty sure you do think that’s true.

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Wow, this guy has no clue at all about Norse religions… I guess he doesn’t need to if all he wants is sell T-shirts.

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Do you mean because it’s Odin, not Thor, who runs Valhalla, and you can only enter if you died with your sword in your hand?

Just a tongue-in-cheek comment on my part, but I do have some interests in ancient mythologies, and found his misuse of Norse mythology to be amusing.

  1. Thor, as you said, do not run Valhalla, but nevertheless unless these people died in battle, they are not fated for Valhalla. They probably will be embraced by Hel.
  2. Ancient Norsepeople probably do not believe in Valhalla. The only mention of Valhalla (I think) is from the 13th century Prose and Poetic Edda, which are rife with Christian influences.
  3. The ancient Norse do not believe in an afterlife in which those who believe/do not believe in their gods are punished/rewarded. In fact, they probably do not believe in the concept of reward/punishment in afterlife at all.
  4. Thor is certainly not “almighty”, otherwise, why are the Æsir and Vanir still fighting?
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Don’t forget an angel. Norse people had Valkyries, not angels.

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I gave him a pass on this, he needed this to make his “punchline” less obvious from the beginning.

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It is kinda funny when I’m told that I’m going to hell. I tried striking up a conversation with one of these people once, but he had no interest in actual communication that might get anyone to see the light. He just saw it as his obligation to threaten damnation - “Accept Jesus NOW or see you in hell!”

People are strange.

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This is kinda random, but have you ever noticed how those people can’t even spell the simplest of words correctly?

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One thing i agree with this post is that its useless to believe in God as a way to hedge your bets. In that sense, the main point of the parable is true.
And even the Bible agrees.

1Cor 15:14 And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. 15 More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. 16 For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. 17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

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Many times, but I have also been accused of having English as my second language, so I try not to throw that stone. :wink:

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