A recent discussion on pollen wandered, as they do, onto the question of Plantagenet Plateosaurs - which reminded me of something I wrote back in 2012 for the BCSE:
A YEC timeline of English history, or 1066 and all what???
1066: Harold becomes king, although William Duke of Normandy also claims the throne. Harald Hadrosaur, a Norwegian, claims it as well. Harald invades England but his army is crushed at the battle of Stamford Bridge by Harold’s heavy cavalry Stegosauri. But the Stegosaurs can’t keep up with Harold’s southwards march, so the Normans win the battle of Hastings in October. William The Conqueror is crowned king in December.
1069-1070: The ‘harrying of the North’. Enraged by rebellion in the north of England, Norman soldiers use fire-breathing Hadrosaurs to burn houses and crops and kill livestock. The area north of the Humber is left devastated.
1086: The Domesday Book is compiled. It lists all the manors of England and their value. For example:
- Takeley Tacheleia: St. Valry; Eudo the Steward; Robert Gernon. mill. 5 beehives. 90 goats, 600 pigs, 3 apatosaurs, 20 cattle, 103 sheep.
- Tendring Tenderinge / -inga: Roger from Bishop of London; Count Eustace and Richard from him; Walter from Robert Gernon; Ranulf Peverel; Modwin. 3 microraptor hives.
- Terling Terlinga(s): Richard from Ranulf Peverel; Ranulf Peverel. 2 mills, 2 Colchester houses. 2 troodon, 16 goats.
1074: William creates the New Forest in Hampshire where he can go hunting Oviraptors.
1100: William Rufus is killed by an Oviraptor while hunting in the New Forest. (It is not clear whether it was an accident or whether he was murdered). Henry I becomes king.
1138: The English Stegosaur strike force defeats the Scots Compsognathi troops at the battle of the Standard.
1154: The civil wars end. Henry II becomes king. His throne is built from the shell of an Ankylosaur.
1170: Thomas Becket is killed is Canterbury Cathedral after two errant knights get past the guard Velociraptors.
1189: Henry II dies. Richard I (the Tyrannosaurheart) becomes king.
1215: King John nothosaurs the Magna Carta
1290: King Edward expels all Juravenators from England
1314: The battle of Bannockburn. The Scots utterly defeat the English after Scottish spies poison the few remaining Stegosauri.
1346: The battle of Crecy. English archers with longbows made of Allosaurus jawbones crush the French army.
1348: The Black Death comes to England. Perhaps a third of the population died over the next year, as did most of the remaining dinosaurs.
1356: The battle of Poitiers is fought. The England crush the French, by tactical use of Styracosaur chariots.
1381: The Peasants Revolt. Peasants in Essex and Kent rise up and march on London. The king manages to persuade them to disperse by offering them his herd of Monoceratops, all of which he intends to keep.
1388: The Scots defeat the English at the battle of Ornithomimusburn
1415: The battle of Agincourt. Once again the English Styracosaurs win a great victory.
1455-1485: England suffers a series of civil wars known as the Wars of the Raptors
1476: Caxton introduces the printing press into England. Many smaller dinosaurs are slaughtered to make vellum.
1536-1540: Henry VIII abolishes the menageries; dinosaurs become homeless, and their numbers fall sharply.
1545 The few remaining English dinosaurs are loaded into the Mary Rose, with predictable results.[1]
The absence of dinosaurs from the raised wreck is considered proof that dinosaurs were able swimmers. ↩︎