I don’t feel lost, I’m pretty sure of where I am.
he will have to force you to seek him.
I have no idea what that means or how it constitutes a response to my post. If you mean by that, that him showing up at my door is “forcing me” against my will, that’s just not true. That would be like saying that giving me chocolate and me finding it tasty is to force me to like it. No, I really do like it, I don’t feel “forced to” by having it freely provided to me.
I would highly recommend your seeking for him before that
Dear God, I sincerely seek to know that you exist. I would be convinced if you came knocking on my door, or teleported into my apartment. You’re welcome, except when I’m masturbating, that would weird me out. I’ll have tea and biscuits ready any time.
because it would not be fun.
Okay, well I’d be closer to be convinced of that if I believed he existed. He can drop by if he wants me to believe that. And then tell me about this terrible future that awaits if he wants me to believe that too and know how to avoid it.