So far, my Canadian customers haven’t abandoned me – yet. But one of the most astonishing features of this whole hideous clusterfuck is that Trump hasn’t just adopted a 19th-century mercantilist trade policy, against all sane economic advice. He’s gone out of his way to supplement it by offending Canadians as much as he can.
Nobody in his right mind would think this is good trade policy. But, let’s just imagine for a moment that somehow Obama had had a brain tumor, and became convinced that he needed to issue an emergency order slapping huge tariffs on Canadian goods. What would he say while doing it? I don’t know, but would expect that it would be conciliatory: “while our nations have been and remain close friends and allies, critical economic and national security considerations regrettably necessitate this change in our trade posture. We will work with Canada to ease the process and avoid any impairment to our relationship, which remains of the highest value to the American people.” That sort of thing. Not “Governor Trudeau.” Not “51st State.”
But, no. We’ve got to insult Canada. Canada, FFS. A country where the border check used to go:
“So, how long are you visiting Canada?”
“Two days.”
“Where were you born?”
“Seattle.”
“Right, have a nice day!”
Not so much as a request for a passport, 90% of the time. The Blaine Peach Arch, at our most convenient border crossing, reads, “Children of a Common Mother.” What are we going to do? Reword it “Worthless Poutine-Eating Motherf****rs”?