This is laughable nonsense but it gives me the opportunity to ask you a question, one that sometimes occupies my mind and one that you seem to believe yourself qualified to answer.
You see, I have an ancient love and affinity for William Shakespeare. This has, of course, led me to wonder how he and I are related. I think the lineage from the man himself to today is known, and I am saddened to know that I am not one of his direct descendants. But as you–a prolific expert on such matters–will know, he and I surely share some common ancestors. I would like to know more about these people–when and where they lived, maybe what they did, maybe what their descendants are like.
How would I go about this? Thanks!